Clichés

This list of clichés is adapted from an SCA list by Tadgh Liath of Duncairn and annotated by (and provided by) Lothar von Katzenellenbogen © 1994-2000 Thomas Barnes. There is extensive quoting and paraphrasing of Tadgh's list (and Lothar's comments) in this list.

There's a lot of clichés that occur when we choose what to call ourselves and what to put on our shields. This is a list of those clichés that are common to medieval re-creation societies, whether SCA or Adria or anything else. If you want to have a truly medieval style name, device, and courtly behaviour, avoid the things on this list.

Please note: some of the things on the Armory Cliché list are registerable under current Adrian rules, and some are not (with good reason!).

Name Clichés

• Gratuitous substitution of "y" for "i" (Bryanna)

• Gratuitous addition of a nonfunctional "e" at the end of a name element (Betsy of the Woode).

• Gratuitous misspellings that "look" Period (Aislynn).

• Use of a by-name ending in "-bane", an element never ever demonstrated to have been used as such in period (Saracenbane).

• A gratuitous Celtic name element thrown into an otherwise non-Celtic name (Stephanie Marie inghean Roberto). Extra credit if the documentation for the name documents the language of the name only as being "Celtic."

• Mixing languages in names (Jacques di Roma of Moskva y Toreador). Extra credit for as great a geographic, temporal, or cultural disparity between the languages as possible (Abdul of London, Lucius Marcellus Bjarnasson of Roanoke, Yoshio O'Reilly)

• Gratuitous use of Adrian "family" names. Extra credit if primary members of the family use "le" before the name and secondary members use "de". Extra extra credit if the family name has no linguistic consistency with the rest of your name.

• Married people using the same "last" name (which shows not that you're married, but that you're related. Extra credit if the wife merely appends the husband's name to hers. Extra extra credit if you're not married. Extra extra credit if the armory matches, too.

• Deliberate use of a famous person's famous name element in yours (Michael the Lionhearted). Extra credit for using a famous Adrian personage's name element (double extra credit if it's without their knowledge and/or permission).

• Non-human name elements never used by humans (Thor MacMerlin, Rhiannon Freyasdotter). Extra credit for elements from science fiction or that claim mystical powers (Muad'dib O'Brien, Richard Rainmaker, Kahless di Napoli).

• Multiple names. Ask me sometime about my friend Doña Maestra Angela Sara Maria Diaz de Valdez (Hey!). Extra credit if not documentable for your persona's culture/time period. Extra extra credit for adding in your Adrian "family" name or husband's byname (as mentioned above).

Armory Clichés

• Gratuitous wings. Extra credit for bat or dragon wings. Extra extra credit for winged inanimate objects or winged Sea-monsters.

• Gratuitous fish tail to make it a Sea-whatever. Extra credit for adding a fish tail to an already composite monster (Sea-Enfield).

• Skulls. Especially in some kind of black-and-white or red-and-black combo.

• Unicorns. Extra credit if you stick a unicorn's horn on a horse. Extra extra credit for winged unicorns/unicornate pegasi (or, for that matter, sea-unicorns or sea-pegasi or (blech) unicornate-sea-pegasi).

• For that matter, sticking a unicorn's horn on ANYTHING but a unicorn.

• "Goth" imagery. Sir Warhammer will gladly teach you about REAL Goths!

• Gratuitous crowns or other Adrian regalia, especially when worn by critters.

• Two unlikely things (extra credit for as dissimilar as possible) crossed in saltire (extra credit for every order of magnitude by which the normal size of one exceeds the normal size of the other, e.g., a windmill and a stalk of wheat) (this is, by the way, unregisterable in Adria). Extra credit if you cross them in cross or you have an arrangement of more than two long skinny objects arranged in cross or saltire. For that matter, two identical objects in cross or saltire is a cliché and is correspondingly rare in Period heraldry.

• Any arrangement where each item is of a different category (a dove between in fess a sword and a cup).

• Sword-and-dagger: combining in one design two different elements from the same category (a lion and a tiger combattant, a sword between three daggers).

• Overlying a line of division with a corresponding ordinary. Extra credit if you use purpure, vert, or one of the odd furs for at least one part of the field.

• A beast or, better yet, a monster holding a drinking vessel, preferably foaming (extra credit for distilling gouttes, doesn't matter which kind).

• A beast or monster holding any charge that relates to some sort of recreational activity or craft, like a needle, mallet, or harp (extra credit for each order of magnitude of difference in size normally found between the two charges, like a whale maintaining a needle).

• My Life On My Shield; or, "I can't barcode my Social Security Number on my device, but I'll try to identify myself unmistakably nevertheless ...". Extra credit if the field is parted so that each "merit badge" is on a different tinctured portion of the field. Extra credit if a symbol allusive to an Adrian office or home subdivision is on the device. Extra extra credit if you put a sword on your device and you're a fighter. Extra extra credit if you use an unheraldic charge, such as a needle-and-thread.

• Unlikely critter (extra credit for totally innocuous herbivore) brandishing a weapon (extra credit for every order of magnitude by which the normal size of the weapon exceeds the normal size of the critter, e.g. a gerbil wielding a mace).

• For that matter, any critter brandishing any item at all. Heraldic beasts have enough to do without doing our jobs as well. Extra credit if the item carried is part of the "My Life On My Shield" category, especially if otherwise non-heraldic (a sheep spinning wool with a drop-spindle off her own coat).

• Unlikely critter in an odd posture or mutated in some way, like a three-eared rabbit, or a frog rampant guardant (extra credit if the posture is impossible for the creature to achieve in nature).

• Standard heraldic beasts in non-standard or awkward postures (doves displayed, eagles close).

• Composite monsters not found in Period armory (Raven-headed lion-bodied bunny with the forelegs of a rat, the hind legs of a dragon, a two-headed snake for a tail, bat wings, antlers, and a unicorn's horn).

• Creatures appearing in their natural colors (brown bears, brown horsies, apaloosa horsies, palomino horsies with white blazes and fetterlocks).

• Gratuitous use of a sword, axe, mullet, hammer, cat, wolf, bear, or rose in your device. (Extra credit if you use a weird variant of any of the above charges, like a compass star, a flamberge, a natural tabby cat, or a panda) (extra extra credit if you use a sword and are a fighter or use a rose and are female).

• Gratuitous use of odd field tinctures or field treatments such as Purpure, Vert, Pean, Erminois, Counter-Ermine, Plumetty, Masoned, Maily, or Honeycombed (Extra credit if you use more than one in the same device).

• Name and device where the device is a cant on the forename (Extra credit if it's a cat for Katherine, a Bear for Bjorn, or a Wolf for Wulf. Extra extra credit if the name and the arms have no temporal connection to each other, like a Migration Era Germanic name with Tudor-style arms).

• A mullet (extra credit if a compass star), roundel, or other geometric shape charged with a complex charge.

• A peripheral charge (extra credit if it's charged and/or uses a complex line of division). Extra extra credit if you add it gratuitously, without needing it in a desperate attempt to avoid conflict.

• Use of a line of division not typically found in medieval heraldry, like dovetailed or rayonee (extra credit if you counterchange a primary charge across a complex line of division).

• Artwork better befitting a painting by Boris Vallejo or a Metallica album than a coat of arms. Extra credit if you took the design from one of those sources (a sword entwined by a rose dripping with blood).

• Use of any charge found only in the Pic Dic or Parker's Dictionary (extra credit if it's listed as an "SCA Invention" or only appears in 20th century grants).

• Knotwork. Extra credit if it's knotwork masquerading as an "orle of ivy" or "seme of vines".

• Semys (extra credit if they're semys of obscure charges, more extra credit if the semy charges themselves follow SCA/Adrian clichés, e.g., semy of compass stars.).

• The totally TSCA (typical SCA) motif of "Per bend sinister [tincture 1] and [tincture 2], an [x] and a [y], with or without a bend sinister in between. Extra credit if [x] and [y] are different tinctures. Extra extra credit if there are four different tinctures.

• Use of a non-European beast, artistic motif, or artifact in an otherwise European style device. (e.g., "Purpure, on a compass star Or between three torii erminois a racoon sejant affronty proper maintaining a kris sable gorged of a chain Or and crowned with a baronial coronet all within an orle of ivy argent." Gak!)

Armory Buzzwords

• "Artistic License"
• "Just Internal Diapering"
• "Alternate blazon"
• "SCA-Compatible"
• "Viking"
• "Celtic"

Title Clichés

• Title stacking (Earl Sir Lord Captain Robert, Sire Squire Mary). Fine if you're re-creating Victorian-era Great Britain.

• Linguistic inconsistency. Use of the English Language title is OK, but don't mix a non-English title with a name from another language (Marquesa Ingrid, Marquis Ricardo).

• Sire. "Sire" is what you call the person to whom you are in highest fealty (like the King).

Court Clichés: for the Audience

• Addressing the crowd as "Populace". Populace is what they are, My lords and ladies is how you address them. Don't say "Populace, may I have your attention please".

• Bowing to every person sitting on the dias. You only need to bow to the person whose Court it is. At an Imperial Event, it's the Emperor and Empress. Everyone else sitting there is there by invitation from Them; you don't need to make a spectacle of yourself bowing to each and every person.

• Speaking in a very quiet voice. Court is basically guerilla street theater: speak up so that the people in back can hear you!

• Going overboard with the whole "don't turn your back on the Crown" thing. Extra credit if you draw attention away from your business by making a scene about it.

• Not paying attention. Extra credit if you miss something important or funny because you were talking with your neighbor.

• Taking up Too Much Time with Court Business. Extra credit if the herald starts making slashing movements at his throat. Extra extra credit if the Crown Guards have to hustle you off stage. Bonus points if the herald gets out a Hook when you walk into Court.

• Gratuitous weaponry. If you are the kind so inclined to wear lots of weapons (which gets you extra credit in and of itself), garner lots of cliché points for each pointy thing you must remove before you can walk into Court. Extra credit if you knew beforehand that you had business and didn't remove your weapons ahead of time.

• "Pray Silence!". Extra credit if you say it before the herald does. Extra extra credit if you say it while the Crown is talking.

Court Clichés: for the Crown

• Being late. Extra credit if you throw off the rest of the day's schedule. Extra extra credit if the populace gets tired of waiting for you and goes on without you.

• Speaking in a very quiet voice. See the note above.

• Trying to do it all yourself without delegating to your ministers.

Persona and Garb Clichés

• Kilts. Extra credit if you really think they're Period.

• "Irish" or "Celtic" personae in general. Extra credit if you claim you are from Ireland during the time it was a subjugated land ruled by English nobility (which was most of the time in our Period). Extra extra credit for speaking in a bad Hollywood accent.

• Bareheadedness. Most of our Period was a mini Ice Age; people kept their heads covered to stay warm.

• Jeans and a T-tunic. Extra credit if what you claim your persona to be wouldn't have been caught dead in a T-tunic.

• Showing up to an event in mundanes and calling yourself "naked". Extra credit if you claim that your persona would have normally walked around naked (especially when you consider that Europe was in a mild Ice Age during most of our Period!).